24-11-2006, 11:46 | #11 | |
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Join Date: Mar 2003
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Quote:
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Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong? It's swell to have a stiffy, It's divine to own a dick. From the tiniest little tadger To the world's biggest prick! So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas. Hooray for your one-eyed trousers snake. |
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24-11-2006, 12:06 | #12 |
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: USS Defiant
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Oh, and my favourite (maybe even geekier)
there are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Being without a signature since November 2004. |
24-11-2006, 12:15 | #13 |
Emperor
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: HAWK!.
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In Bavaria, a Weißwurst factory explodes, sprinkling Weißwürste everywhere.
((here's a pic for those who do not know Weißwürst: 4.56KB) 'Everywhere' means 'everywhere' - a few get blown up so high that they land on clouds. An angel picks one up. 'What is this?', he wonders.... and runs off to St. Peter to ask. St. Peter is equally cluelss. 'Why not ask Junior, he spent some time down there', he suggests. But Jesus also is clueless! After looking at the sausage carefully for a long time, he suggests: 'Aks my Mom, she's from down there, she might knwow!' So the angel races off to find Mary. He hands her the Weißwurst, and she carefully looks it over. Finally she says: 'No, I have never seen this before, but it does feel like the Holy Spirit!'
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One more turn..... just one more turn... one MORE! |
25-11-2006, 10:42 | #14 |
Custard used tile
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Opening a can
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26-11-2006, 13:36 | #15 |
King
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Adelaide, Australia.
Posts: 2,060
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Not a joke as such but i found it funny
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.
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"I'm altering the deal, prey I don't alter it further" Darth Vader "We shall defend what is ours. We shall never surrender" --Kosovo is Serbia! |
26-11-2006, 13:50 | #16 |
Custard used tile
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Opening a can
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Is this for real, or did you find it somewhere?
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26-11-2006, 13:59 | #17 |
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Location: Nijmegen, Netherlands.
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I must remember that
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Social life ? Sounds like fun !! Where can I download that ? |
26-11-2006, 14:05 | #18 |
Deity
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Lahndan
Posts: 6,220
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that is genius!
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the sooner you fall behind, the more time you\'ll have to catch up! CDZ Cup Champion!!! |
26-11-2006, 23:24 | #19 |
King
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago.
Posts: 2,388
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Quiz
You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? (scroll down) Answer: Get off the children's carousel and, next time, don't drink so much.
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.--W. C. Fields |
27-11-2006, 00:45 | #20 |
King
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Yankton, SD.
Posts: 1,310
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Awesome. I Laughed for minutes!!
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I am not crazy cause I take the right pills..................................... Everyday |