Joke of the day

[Melifluous]

quote:Originally posted by socralynnek

Rather old one:

Why do mathematicians always confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

awesome, Geek rating 10!

[socralynnek]

Oh, and my favourite (maybe even geekier)

there are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.

[Lt. Killer M]

In Bavaria, a Weißwurst factory explodes, sprinkling Weißwürste everywhere.

((here's a pic for those who do not know Weißwürst:

4.56KB)

'Everywhere' means 'everywhere' - a few get blown up so high that they land on clouds.
An angel picks one up. 'What is this?', he wonders.... and runs off to St. Peter to ask.
St. Peter is equally cluelss. 'Why not ask Junior, he spent some time down there', he suggests.

But Jesus also is clueless! After looking at the sausage carefully for a long time, he suggests: 'Aks my Mom, she's from down there, she might knwow!'

So the angel races off to find Mary. He hands her the Weißwurst, and she carefully looks it over. Finally she says:
'No, I have never seen this before, but it does feel like the Holy Spirit!'

[Pastorius]

[Robi D]

Not a joke as such but i found it funny

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says,
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went
shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take,
so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said,
"Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must
have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think
she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I
think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.

[Pastorius]

Is this for real, or did you find it somewhere?

[Rik Meleet]

I must remember that

[BCLG100]

that is genius!

[Whomp]

Quiz

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?






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Answer:

Get off the children's carousel and, next time, don't drink so much.

[romeothemonk]

Awesome. I Laughed for minutes!!