About 2.) (not that I have a qualified opinion on that): But isn't that how it should be and/or even realistic?
War weariness takes longer if you have not started the war so it doesn't affect you THAT much (o.k., later on that doesn't make a difference anymore).
Yes, the other player forces his gameplay on you, but imho that is the risk of being a republic/democracy just as it is in real life.
Not that this helped, but I thought I throw in my 2 cents.
