Variety on akots' joke:
Guy wakes up after a heavy night of drinking. Gets out of bed, checks his jacquet pockets and a bra comes out; Checks his pants pocket and female undies come out. Walks into the bathroom to splash some water in his face, looks in the mirror and a little thread is hanging out of the corner of his mouth and he says to himself: 'I sure hope that's just a teabag.....'
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I fed my Dog the American Dream
Well, he rolled over and he started to scream
He said, I dig the taste of salt but it don't keep me alive yeah, yeah
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