Slaughtered in the cup 9-0.
Won the first of the season away from home 0-2 
Nice happy return to Hattrick for me 
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Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy,
It's divine to own a dick.
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick!
So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trousers snake.
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