Not a joke as such but i found it funny
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says,
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went
shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take,
so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said,
"Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must
have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think
she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I
think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled, "WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.