Civ Poetry

[akots]

Instead of posting some spoilers I decided to start with the poetry. It is not much of the poetry anyhow but might be interesting and amusing for Civ fans. Please post your comments.

Obviously, English is not my native language, so please make some discount on that. :)

I'll be adding some more verses as soon as I write them. Sorry for spamming.

[akots]

There has been a firce discussion at CFC between various members and Comander Bello about how fair is the Civ3 pRNG system. IIRC, anarres also participated and tried to put down poor Bello as well as many others. So, I came up with the floowing ballad which pretty much corresponds to my point of view on the subject:

Ballad of Civ combat system and pRNG

Oh, My Lord! At you command
Died today our mighty squad.
Dead they are on battlefield,
And few remnants blow retreat.
There was squad of knights and spears
In the morning on the hill.

For six years they had no fears
Charging foes at your strong will.
They have conquered, scourged and burned
Many countries of the world.
Greeks and Vikings, Franks and Rome,
And all-mighty Babylon
All lay stretched and lick your boot.
Full your coffers are with loot.

There was squad of knights and spears
In the morning on the hill.
Let their widows burst in tears
For that was your choice and will.
Charged they down. The end of story.
Cause defenders slaughtered all.
And their corpses dressed in glory
Lay abandoned at the wall.

Oh, My Lord! At you command
Died today our mighty squad.
Dead they are on battlefield,
Only few could then retreat.
Only few survived the fight,
Bleeding come at your blessed sight.
Just to tell the only thing:
Hail to you, My Noble King!

[akots]

I have started to play SG on CFC with Charis and mad-bax. First one was with RBC Conquests. I joined a team with Justus II, Rubberjello, Gobi Bear and Doc as Vandals in the Fall of Rome. It was an easy game and great fun. The first verse was posted at the beginning of my turns to inspire Vandal warriors for their great victory against the Roman oppressors.

Vandal victory song

We, Vandals, will kill them all.
And the Rome itself will fall.
Vandalizing all around
We'll bring Romans to the ground.
We will kill and rape and torture
And bring back with us a fortune.
Sack, pillage, and raid and hail
And eventually prevail.

The second was devoted to Gobi Bear. He is designer in the Breakaway games and very nice person. It was his birthday. He then let us playtest the new Fall of Rome Conquest as Western and Eastern Rome.

Happy Birthday, Gobi Bear

In the desert far from sea
Mighty bear runs to hunt.
Claws and teeth and loud grunt,
Beast as nowhere to be seen.

Crushes enemies like tide,
Leaving ruins everywhere.
Not a scratch on fluffy hide.
Happy Birthday, Gobi Bear!

[akots]

Another SG has been a replay of GOTM 14. A mighty prelude to the current SGOTM. The original game has been very difficult for unknown reason and only few people were able to win while most of the players actually lost. I first wanted to play it in C3C and got into cracker's and Ted Jackson's ignore lists being accused by both in trying to ruin the GOTM.

There were 3 teams competing. Our team included mad-bax (who is actually a very strong player) and three other players (Bugsy, Barbslinger, and the Space Oddity). Two other teams were AlanH-Karasu-Ted Jackson and Greebley-smackster-Sam-High Desert.

It is a very difficult Deity game where the starting position enables 4-turn settler factory but Babylon (we were playing) is early cornered in a not-so-pleasant starting location by mighty Persia on a continent. The only way out is to avoid early wars and seize the adjacent flood plain to build workers and whip occasional units. It was supposed to be played by very strict RBC rules with Palace jump and all exploits banned. Actually, our and AlanH team played mostly by honorable RBC rules excluding wars, of course.

The game went surprizingly well for us. It was a farmer's gambit variation a-la-Ribannah and it worked well. We won by domination around 1300AD and the AlanH team won even before 1000AD. The smackster-Greebley team got into early wars with Persia. They were able to win in the end but they had to capture the Great Library and use all possible exploits including ship chaining, galley hopping, RoP rape, etc. It was a very close call for them.

So, early in the game it was pretty scary and I have tried to cheer up the team mates with the following verses:

Hunting song of Babylonian Gods
D'ye ken Marduk?

D'ye ken Tiamut with her coat so gay,
D'ye ken Apsu at the break of the day,
D'ye ken Marduk when he's far, far away,
With his club and his spear in the morning?

For the sound of his horn woke me from my sleep
And the cry of his horse and the crack of his whip.
All this noise in the plains would awaken the dead
Or the Xerxes from his bed in the morning.

Yes I ken Marduk spit on Persian rugs,
AlanH and TedJackson, and mad-bax and SirBugs,
From a find to a check, from a check to a view
From a view to a death in the morning.

Then here's to Marduk with my heart and my soul
Let's drink to his health, let's finish the bowl,
We'll follow our goal through fair and through foul
If we want a good hunt in the morning.

Adapted from D'ye ken John Peel by Sir John Woodcock Graves

Ballad of Marduk praying to the Gods

Miracles happen! You know, my lord,
Of Marduk. He carried a club herding the cattle
With it and hiding under the rocks when he heard
Persian king challenging him to the battle.
He was weak against them. So he went to the Temple
And prayed to Apsu full of fear and shame.
Miracles happen! You know, my lord,
Today he is swordsman with heavy sharp sword
Divine in his might in the light of the day.
He is blowing horn, challenging Persian stock
And the Persians hide underneath the same rock,
And they vomit of fear and are running away.

Oh, Apsu, Tiamut, Lahamu, Nudimmud!
Turn the Persian swords from the metal to mud!
Oh, Kisar and Anu! Make the Persians weak!
Let Marduk kill their king by the end of this week!


Then, when AlanH team won, I have composed a hymn in their honor:

On Roster A winning GOTM14 SG replay

Roster A of noble lords
Dominate all foreign worlds!
Happy are the mighty gods
For you have prevailed the odds!
In nine eighty of new years
You have crushed the strongest foes!
Loot and glory, both are yours!

And later on, when team Samildanach won, I have also composed a verse to honor their efforts:

On Roster C winning GOTM14 SG replay

Game of life has just begun
Played by fox against raccoon:
Run to catch the rising sun
Then to stop the falling moon.

There are not that many tries,
There is not that much to gain.
He who wins must play again,
He who loses always dies.

[akots]

Another verse is actually devoted to Samildanach. Somehow, an idea of a dog playing Civ is very peculiar to me. During SGOTM1, we discussed a lot does he have socks and boots. He then later confessed that he does. Gold and green awards are the SGOTM team awards for highest Jason score with and without bonuses for variants. Our team won the golden award back then. Game was played as Persia on Regent. Victory was Conquest around 400BC. Hence, the following verse appeared:

Ballad of the socks and boots and SGOTM

Dog in socks and cat in boots,
Both have great Immortal troops.
With the signal they begin,
Both have swords and run to win.

Panting breaths and sweating hides,
Swimming through the rising tides,
Battles won and cities built,
Armies killed without guilt.

Who would get the prize of gold?
Who would get the prize of green?
That's the story to be told.
With the signal they begin.

[akots]

Another interesting SG has been VS1 started by Strider. It was a rather not so strong team including Strider himself, Chieftess, Genghis Khan, me, and andvruss. The game goes very slowly and actually we are not doing there very well and need a replacement player or two. So, if somebody is interested, please sign up in the CFC SG forum.

The game is absolutely random. We are Carthage on huge map against 15 AI at maximal aggression at Demi-God difficulty in a creepy start. At a certain time it was played essentially as Always War because we were weak and every AI wanted something from us. It was not played very well by many players but somehow we survived. In the process, Strider got to the hospital and dropped, CT also dropped, some other players came and also dropped, so we are basically left with me and advruss atm.

This verse was written at the start of the game:

...

They went to a journey to a far-away land
They sailed right at midnight with Strider ahead
Then followed by Fire, by Khan, and by me
By Chief and an And and whatever might be.

Arrived in the shadow and settled in dark
They mined and built roads and tested their luck.

With fear and awe their neighbors were met
For others to learn and to see what was left.
In blood and in shame they stepped out of the mist
And wrote all the moves to compile their list.

Another verse was posted by me there but it was written long time ago. It is a translation from Russian of a famous poet Konstantin Balmont. The title and contents speak for themselves:

I DON'T KNOW OF WISDOM

I don't know of wisdom good for Universe,
There is only fleetingness in my humble verse.
Each of those transiencies has a world inside,
Each of worlds has rainbow, cheerful, high, and bright.

Sages! Please don't curse me since I bear no blame.
I'm just little cloudlet burning with the flame.
I'm just little cloudlet. I'm just floating through
Calling for the dreamers not inviting you.

[akots]

Another small verse honors SirPleb winning GOTM28.

Hymn to the Great Player

Mighty knight in shining gear,
Always cunning, quick and fair,
Conquered all of World Wide Web.
Who's he, children? - Be SirPleb!

[akots]

Here is the updated version of

Swimming Contest Ballad

Fitness center closed today.
People wonder, voicing loud:
"What the hell is on our way?
What this crap is all about?
Why cannot you let us in?"

"There is racing to begin!"-
They were told by the admin:
"Mighty swimmers come to grounds
To compete in many rounds.
Due to such a great event,
Fitness center waives all rent.
Stars have come from all the world
For the stories to be told.
Only those on the list
I will let inside the dome.
All the others are dismissed,
Mind your business, go home."

Since we are on magic list,
We can take a peek at start.
Let's observe the swimming art
Through the steaming shower mist.

Comes berserk in suite of hair
Spitting-cursing everywhere:
"Vikings are the better jacks!
Everyone has heavy axe
Which can crush a human skull
Or make holes in your ship hull!
We will win, have little doubt!"

Hannibal then comes about.
Waives his shield and mighty spear:
"Don't you even try to dare!
All this contest is unfair!
All you have to run with fear!"
Seizures came and he fell down
Soiling his parading gown.

Hiawatha in disguise
Eats popcorn with wedgy fries:
"Just to watch your tiny boat
Make me sea-sick up to throat!
We can run and we can ride,
We can crawl and we can hide.
We are sneaky and we win!"

Sapa Inca marches in.
"Our sages found a tool
To obstruct the swimming pool:
We will let piranha there
So our rivals should beware!
All you be piranha's game!
Then, we come and win the game!"


Dutchman comes in shaky pace:
"No doubt, we'll win the race!
We will build the Hoover Dam
In the port of Amsterdam!
We will build the cow farm
In the port of Rotterdam!
Pass me please another beer!"

Then, Mursilis comes inside:
"If I were in better cheer,
I would've spared you puny hide!
For Hittites will kill you all!
May our victory befall!"
He is still a little harsh
Due to handlebar moustache.

Henry comes in suite for swimming,
Royal step is hard and trimming:
"When you step on Lisbon's pier,
You'll be pierced with my rapier.
Once I killed a decent stack,
Made kebab on carrack's deck.
I've been very fenced around!"

Here comes Theo to the ground.
Wait! It is their mighty king
Dressed in furs and sweating hard
Followed by a mighty guard
With Byzantine song to sing:
"May your ships all burn with fire!
It's the only my desire!"

Hence, they sat and cursed and trashed,
Wrestled, battled, drank and crashed,
Fled, returned, made friends and foes
Trying water with their toes.


Please no offense to anyone. All characters are pure products of the sick imagination of the author and no similarity with reality exists or ever was implied.

[Plux]

great stuff, akots :)

[Lt. Killer M]

og christ, I MUST dig out my old civ3 poem I once wrote while wiating for my damn slow PC......

[akots]

Why don't you make a thread here and post it. It's recitation hall after all. :)

[anarres]

Or post it in OT ;)

[digger760]

A cultutal fellow, Akots by name
brought joy and wonder, to the CDZ fame

for instead of spoilers, he wrote poetic wonders
i bet he plays for culture, instead of plunder.


digger760
(fist time i've tried poetry since primary school...does it show?)

[akots]

quote:Originally posted by anarres Or post it in OT

Well, it is Civ poetry, after all. May be not PBEM poetry exactly, but "on topic" enough. OT is for some other poetry IMO.

@digger760 [:lol:]