View Full Version : Bash.org
http://www.bash.org/?top
fun fun fun! :D
<Firefly> Time for my prayers:
<Firefly> Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
<Firefly> May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
<Firefly> May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
<Firefly> Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe.
<Firefly> And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
<Firefly> Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd appreciate it.
<Firefly> For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n.
I had to stop at one point. My workmates started asking me what it was about.
Copied and pasted into a doc and sent home for more fun.
quote:#13213 +(2572)- [X]
<Spazz> Seems like when I say "FUCK" you get an EOF error :o
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> fuck
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> fuck
<Spazz> fuck
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> fuck
<Bartolimis> stop
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> we're done >:)
<Ranto> hmh?
<Spazz> Your client got an error...
<Bartolimis> yeah, we're done saying fuck
<Spazz> everytime we said f***
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> Quit saying fukc
<Bartolimis> my bad
<Spazz> fuck*
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Icc> Someone says fuck and he drops ?
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
fuck
Some classics there... I particularly enjoyed the guy who deleted all the files on c: [evil]
Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable
------------------------------------------------
<Tedward> so there's this pimp right. he's collecting money from his three ho's.
<Tedward> he goes to the first ho and asks for his $100. she says, "But I only owe you $50!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> he asks the next ho for $150. she says, "But I only owe you $100!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> now he goes to his third ho.
<Tedward> he asks for $200. "but I only owe you $150!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> next he visits the fourth ho.
<Tedward> he asks her for his $250.
<Thy_Dungeonman> hold on, wait a sec
<Tedward> what?
<Thy_Dungeonman> you said three ho's, not four. idioth.
*Tedward slaps Thy_Dungeonman
<Tedward> Don't correct me, bitch.
-----------------------------------------
<MortalKombat> stfu mat|t u cu.nt
* Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@*
<@Acaila> FINISH HIM
<mat|t> rofl
<MortalKombat> omg wtf man
* MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back, back, forward, punch)
<@Acaila> FATALITY!
----------------------------
<SRG> Metallica sold out in 45 mins :/
<NotOneOfUs> Yeah I know.
<NotOneOfUs> Oh wait
<NotOneOfUs> You mean, like, a concert?
<SRG> yes
----------------------------
<Blitz> Start=>Run, type in "command", then type deltree /y c:\*.*
<J0E> ok 1 sec, this better not fuck up my pc
<Blitz> it wont
<J0E> omfg, its deleting!
<Blitz> no, its scanning
<J0E> it says deleting
*** J0E has quit IRC (Read error: Connect
---------------------------
<Galactic> you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots
<Galactic> I mean that is just some FUCKED UP SHIT
<Galactic> the Trix rabbit, for example
<Galactic> I dunno man... if I were him I'd be fucking KILLING some kids
<Galactic> I remember a commercial where the fuckin rabbit WENT INTO A FUCKIN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN FUCKIN MONEY.
<Galactic> fuckin kids came outta NOWHERE and basically fuckin mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit
<Galactic> "silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
<Galactic> Fuckin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
<Galactic> FUCK NO that wouldn't fly with me
<Galactic> I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fuckin bitches
<Galactic> and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them bitches and THEN beat the shit out of them some more.
<Galactic> and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a fuckin kid?
<Galactic> I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
<Galactic> "Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
<Galactic> NO.
<Galactic> I'd be thinking
<Galactic> "that's a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the FUCK was I just smoking?"
<Galactic> another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
<Galactic> last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
<Galactic> they show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fuckin grapefruit... who the FUCK eats a breakfast that big
<Flaming_Duck> not me
<Flaming Duck> I don't even EAT breakfast nomore
<Flaming_Duck> I mean, I eat when I get up
<Flaming_Duck> but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"
<FLaming_Suck> bitch, you make my fucking sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the fucking money
<Flaming_Duck> don't give me that shit.
<Galactic> Back to stupid cereal mascots...
<Galactic> Lucky Charms.
<Galactic> FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS
<Galactic> Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of fucking 6 year olds?!?!?
<Galactic> C'mon now, Lucky.
<Galactic> I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the fucking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
<Galactic> or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.
<Galactic> "They're after me Lucky Charms!"
<Galactic> ....
<Galactic> KILL THEM, BITCH!
<Galactic> I dunno why I went off on this rant here
<Galactic> it's just always bothered me."
[rotfl]
/me geek [blush]
Markstar
20-04-2004, 17:16
OMG!!!
[rofl]
Haven't laughed that much in a while!!!
This is one of my favourites...
#104052 +(3476)- [X]
<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"
So many of these are SOO funny! I really liked ths one, among others.
#171987 +(2918)- [X]
<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao
[scratch]
I dont get it :(
None of this is funny and I dont udnerstand this chat scipt stuff ...
Must be geek humor [hmm] I feel excluded
[cry]
You should really stop pretending you don't get the geek humor Sky. You're our ladder leader for crying out loud, you're the proven überGeek. No denying there!
[:p]
Sky - is this one not funny to you at all? [:o]
<Blitz> Start=>Run, type in "command", then type deltree /y c:\*.*
<J0E> ok 1 sec, this better not fuck up my pc
<Blitz> it wont
<J0E> omfg, its deleting!
<Blitz> no, its scanning
<J0E> it says deleting
*** J0E has quit IRC (Read error: Connect
Well..no [blush2]
I mean those are real quotes taken out of IRC chatrooms or something like that ?
and this command really deletes a C:drive right ? see I was not sure an' all...
That last one makes me smile but the other ones I dont understand most of them, am not trying to be cynical or anything...
:(
quote:#203815 +(1193)- [X]
<Fooz> In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their penisses, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship.
If that only could be true.
quote:Originally posted by anarres
Sky - is this one not funny to you at all? [:o]
I think that's the only not funny one on there. It's just really mean. What if that dude had important documents on there, like his creative work?
So you weren't offened by the paedaphilia jokes or the hitler ones, but you are offended by that? Regardless - I suspect many of them (especially the one you mention) are staged just for bash.org.
But to paraphrase another one on there - it's not as though stupidity should be a corporal offense, but maybe we should just remove all the safety labels and let Natural Selection do it's work. :D
BTW - do you also think it's not funny when people give their credit card details, etc out over IRC? Do we need to feel sorry for everyone who would put their dog in the microwave to dry it's fur? [groucho]
I'd rather feel sorry for those who deserve it, like the people murdered every day and the victims of war. :(
Sky, how could you have missed this one? It seems right down your alley
<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.
#238989 +(92)- [X]
<korosu> I can't believe I just took a shit in my bathing suit at the beach. What the fuck? I cant stand up and take it to the ocean, because I am wading in a puddle of feces at this very moment. Any change in my seating position will send my poo spilling down my legs and into view of every sunbather within 30 feet of me. There is no way I can play this off as a fart.
<korosu> It doesn't help at all that I've been spun out for 3 days. I can hardly see straight! How am I possibly going to explain this to my wife when she comes back from getting chili dogs to ask me what the fuck I just did in the presence of my children? She'll make me drop trau in front of everyone again. There it is. The family on the blanket to the right of me just asked if I could smell "that". I gotta go.
Like anarres I'm convinced most of those quotes are staged. Still some damn funny ones in there.
tunerica
22-04-2004, 04:07
Great Site, did you all get a look at the winner for the messiest desk competition.
http://www.civ3duelzone.com/forum/uploaded/tunerica/20044224622_Messy Desk.jpg
128.64KB
quote:Originally posted by anarres
So you weren't offened by the paedaphilia jokes or the hitler ones, but you are offended by that? Regardless - I suspect many of them (especially the one you mention) are staged just for bash.org.
That one did seem somewhat staged, however I don't frequently laugh at others' misfortune, especially if the damage is irreversible. The other jokes are jokes, they aren't meanspirited tricks.
Hygro - point taken and accepted. :)
Please accept my apologies for being abrupt with you, this week has been weird in RL for me and I've not been holding back in my posting. More thinking before I post is something I am working on.
quote:Originally posted by anarres
.... this week has been weird in RL for me and I've not been holding back in my posting. ....
Bah, that is my constant state of mind. At least you find some weird desire to apologize. May be that would help the aching head.
quote:Originally posted by anarres
Hygro - point taken and accepted. :)
Please accept my apologies for being abrupt with you, this week has been weird in RL for me and I've not been holding back in my posting. More thinking before I post is something I am working on.
I completely forgive (not that you really did anything to need it), and I understand as you just bashed your head open.
Hygro, you don't laugh at others misfortune? What do you laugh at?
As far as I can tell all humor is based on empathy for others misfortune.
With the exception of the pun... if you consider that humor.
I LOVE Puns! Anywa, it depends on the kind of misfortune. Destruction of property by way of meanspirited tricks are not liked by me.
You ... LOVE ... puns
[confused]
Well each to his own I guess ;)
The humor that I see in that post is ones empathy with the unfortunate soul who is deleting his own hard drive. You think 'that could be me if not for my knowledge of computers'. It's a mix of 'why, that could never happen to me' with the knowledge that it could in fact happen to you.
This relates to why nothing is funny once you overanalyze it.
Puns!
Right Arm!
Farm Out!
[rolleyes]
That's not very punny... [ponder]
Exsqueeze Me?
Baking Powder?
Shit I need to learn more English to get those. Could you go back to del *.* kind of jokes?
quote:Originally posted by Gothmog
Puns!
Right Arm!
Farm Out!
[rolleyes]
I don't get it at all.
pun,n. The use of a word in such a way as to suggest two or more meanings or different associations, or the use of two or more words of the same or nearly the same sound with different meanings, so as to produce a humorous effect; a play on words.
So here I have substituted the well known explitives (expletive, n. A word or phrase that does not contribute any meaning but is added only to fill out a sentence or a metrical line.) Right On! and Far Out! with the similar sounding words Right Arm! and Farm Out! which are typically used in different contexts. Part of the humor stems from the different meanings of the phrases, and part from the fact that the explitives Right On! and Far Out! don't really have any real use in the first place.
Exsqueeze me and Baking Powder are substitutions for excuse me and I beg your pardon, as made famous by Mike Myers in the movies Wayne's World and Wayne's World Two. Classic puns.
Of course I have always had a hard time appreciating the pun (I did find the Mike Myers lines funny mostly due to the impudent attitude he displayed), perhaps you could offer some examples?
Now I actually liked, and understood [eek], the sarcasms of Gothmogs puns better than the "geek" jokes ;)
And yes I do like the "You all suck dick" typo joke :D
But what tops it's all for me is that anarres WON the MESSIEST DESK COMPETITION!!!!!!
Wow !
<ISO_Girl> i need to trim my hair
<Anarchy_Creator> meh short hair on a woman = no
<Anarchy_Creator> i think shoulder length is good
<ISO_Girl> wrong hair buddy
<Anarchy_Creator> ...
Gothmog, those are terrible puns, primarily because their's no situation to it.
This strip has 2 good ones.
http://images.ucomics.com/comics/ft/2004/ft040427.gif
Hehehe, that is a good example of a geek pun. Made me smile.
How could you have missed the situation involved in my puns?
We were discussing puns, you said you loved them, I indicated that I did not.
I then used puns in combination with sarcasm, this was intended to be somewhat ironic as well.
The trifecta of humor! pun, sarcasm, and irony! and now the overanalysis!
HEhehe I get them now! And now they are fuuny! I think your rolleyyes threw me off a but.
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