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smalltalk
16-02-2004, 19:27
Glad to be back to this plain of existance from a time that was perhaps the most intense I've had for quite a while, though not every moment was a happy one.
I won't bore you with details of my life - or satisfy your voyeristic tendences (whatever your preferences are). I'd rather give a "short" account of some of the things, that crossed my mind.

Anyway, I guess you now have to endure my lowbrow attempts at humor and my careless mockery once more. But then, live would be a bit more dull without laughing, and if I mock someone, it's just because I love all you freaks and knowledge seekers.


Paranoia, Reality, Wishfull Thinking

Somehow I often can't differ between a situation and what I would like to see in it - or what I would want to make out of it.

I started to read a book,
then someone tells me about William James,
and in the next day this William James is mentioned in my book.

When you hand someone a CD, titled 'Come to my room' and get back one that's called 'in mood for love', does this prove that you both really like music, or could there be more to it?

As far as I was told from asking, it was coincidence. Of course it isn't, but I not going to invade other people with my truth, if they don't want hear after being begged to listen.


More Coincidences

I was quite astonished, when I moved to my new flat last summer, and found a postcard with a chimpanzee on the mirror in the bathroom, left by someone who lived here before.

This is a truth, no philosopher can trick me into denying.


Aristotle sees and chooses to remain blind

Aristotle reasons about emptiness, the void, vaccuum:
Nobody could give a reason why motion of a body should ever stop in the vaccuum. Why should this happen rather here then there? Therefor everything will remain at rest or in motion forever. As this is an absurd idea, there is no such thing as 'nothing'.


Buddhas lack of grasp

Now if anyone leaves home, wife and children to seek wisdom, I can understand it perfectly well. But if the same person claims, that a important part of his teaching is compasion, then I wonder why he never returned to his family to practise what he was preaching.


Why Buddhists are as superstitious as christians

There is a rumour of a great white elephant trodding around in the forests. Someone tells you about it. Would you believe it? OK, you want to see for youself, you go searching, and see big footprints. Still you don't believe, they were caused the famous white elephant, because they could come from a rhino as well. If you then look closer at the footprints, you might recognize the imprint of elefant's claws. But still, it might have been a black elephant, which caused it. Only when you finally see the white elephant with your own eyes, you could believe he is really there.
That is, if he is not accopanied by white mice. Then you might figure you're suffering form delirium tremens.


Buddha claims of himself to be enlightend. But what light 'lies' in trying to enumerate the eternal truth.
People talk of the 4 noble truth's and the eightfold path or the ten commandments. I wonder, why people don't have the imagination to envision a more enlightened mind, that could condense his teachings into 3 sentences or expand our wisdom to 5 nobleties. Counting is for clerks. But then, who knows what counts?

Well, it might be stated that the universe knows what counts, but it is not or not fully conscious of this knowledge - yet. ;)


Jesus Christ's masochism

Let's assume someone found a truth. A gem of wisdom. If he tries to tell you with words, and you are unable to recognize this truth, what good would it do, if he has himself crucified? As if this act would help people to understand. Instead he throws away his life, in a desperate and fanatic attempt in making people understand. What more good could he have done, if he stayed here and tried to help.

I'm not intending to die for other people's sin. There are already enough people dying for the sins of other people. In situations of conflict, you either fight or flee. If a sane mind realizes that he can't win a fight but will be destroyed, he should rather leave.

If he feels, there is no hope for mankind, he should go into the desert to find peace and his own revelation. (Darn, that nowadays we won't find peace in the desert anymore).
Instead he went to hell. I wonder what personal revelation he sought there. Was he a masochist?

If he feels, there is no joy, but only pain in his life, he should try to starve himself to death, which is supposedly the least painfull way of suicide. (Darn, so nowaday we do have substances that could ease his pain, but then if a doctor would give it him, that doctor would be crucified instead of him, at least in some countries.)

On the other hand, if I were Pheonix and could recreate myself out from the burning fire into new life, I wouldn't mind death.

But what is this thing called self?



Why Descartes knows nothing

"I think, therefore I am".

Strange that this nonsense has been around for centuries without being rebutted.
What an indicator for the pathetic state philosophy is in.

Descarte reasons, that all his experiences could be caused be a wicked god, as if he would only exist in the mind of this God.

This might be true, but then where does he take the chuzpa from to claim that he is a person, an "I". If his idea is true, then he cannot state that "he" exists. "He" is just fiction made up by an evil God. All he could say was: "I think, therefore something exists." But by acknowledging that "he" exists, "he" must also acknowledge, that the delusions that are given to him by his fictious god have their own reality and consistency. The world is as real or unreal as Descartes himself.

Much worse is, that philosophers always think with only half their brain. They forget, that the brain extends into the spine, maybe even into the hole nervous system and the solarplexus.

If Descart were alife, he would claim:
"I feel, therefore I am."

If he had basic understanding of life, he would say: "I breath, therefore I am."

If he would use his eyes for looking, he would see sort of structure.

If he would go on asking question, he might finally arrive at something close to thinking. Obviously, if Descartes has a dull moment and fails to think, "he" nevertheless remained real.

If he had humor, he would say:
"Coito, ergo sum"

Maybe I should kick Descartes ass, until he is finally ripe for acknowledging that at least his pain is real. I wonder, if we just torture him enough, could we make him believe that 1 + 1 = 3? Or would he say, like Gallilei, "And yet it revolves."

I guess everybody here will agree, that Descartes in fact knew quite a lot of things. The Question is, what devil tricked him into believing that he wouldn't.


The final word on Evolution and Creationism (for now)

So people claim, it was possible that god created the universe just a moment ago, that he created all my memories and also buried all those bones of that overgrown, featherless chicken called dinosaurs.

Again this is thinkable and cannot be rebutted. But then we have to realize, that a lot of painfull thought was invested by God, trying to arrange all those bones in exactly the right place, so that they imply a meaning.

If I can't differ between two things, they must necessarily be the same thing. So the problem at hand is to take the shovel and go digging, instead of argueing about matters of interpretation and semantics.


Why reincarnation is a dubious idea and why the difference between hinayana and mahayana buddhism is an illusion of blabbering minds.

There is a classic tale illustrating the difference between Hinayna and Mahayana Buddhism.

Two monks are lost in the desert. They are out of water, and will die soon. Wandering around they find an oasis. The first monk refreshes himself and then sits down quietly and meditates. The other monk also refreshes himself, and then sets off back into the desert with the words: "I will look if there are other lost monks out there."

The story ends here, but reality does not, so I will go on wondering about the fate of those poor folks.

While the first monk sits and meditates, unspecified enemy forces arrive at the oasis. It could be predators, seeking for prey they expect to find quite probably at an oasis. Or lets say, a war has broken out somewhere, and now soldiers have come to the oasis looking for their enemy. They find the monk, suppose he is a spy, torture him. The monk remains silent, cause. Even if he tried to communicate his knowledge, I doubt his tormentors would have the will or the brain to understand.

Overnight, the second monk returns and with his monkly powers overcomes the invaders. Next day, again, the first monk remains sitting and meditating, while the second one goes back into the desert. He finds a lot of other monks, convinces them with his wisdom. They form a resistance movment. They are just on the brink of overcoming the enemy, - when a massive object from outer space crashes into earth.

Now its your turn to come up with with a sequel to this story.

I have a vague idea, but it is quite insane. If can't destroy it, I will write it down.





Fiscal authorities - or how to deal with spam

Call me lazy, irresponsible or insane: I don't open letters that I have not called for, except if they come from potential allies in the pursuit of happiness. By law, I am forced to make a fiscal declaration every 3 month. I didn't comply for 10 month. So they beginn to impose thier kind of "righteousness" on me. Instead of just taking what's theirs, and just drawing money from my bank account, based on the figures of my last years income, they raise their demand a double fold for every quarter year, making me pay an amount of money for three month, that would be good for a whole year.

I asked them if they could please just draw a reasonable figure from my bank account, maybe 10 or 20% percent above from last years tax. It would save them and me a lot of stress, and they would make a bargain from my overpay. They said they couldn't. Their software would come up with the decission, what someone has to pay.

I hate it when measly thoughtless minds penetrate my life and bother me with meaningless things, that have relevance to them but not for me. I hate it even more, when I try to be cooperative, but there is no mercy in people and no will to find a way, and - worst of all - no way to reason with people.


Mockingbird singsong

Stumbled accross Thomas Nagel's "What does it all mean? - a very short introduction in philosophy"

quote:
This Book gives a short Introduction into Philosophy for readers, who have little idea about the subject.

Well, I doubt that readers will have much more knowledge after reading his musings.


quote:
The only example for a correlation between Consciousness, behaviour, anatomy and the physical World, that we ever have observed, is our own case.

How do we know, if we eat chocolate, if it tastes the same for you and me?


Maybe we really don't know this.

But then, if I eat and you starve, how would you feel?

Everyone with fears, knows how it feels to be devoured.
Everyone with appetite knows how it feels to devour.
Everybody should know, that with the pleasure of making babies comes the pain of birth.


However, I might be totally wrong with my sureness.

I lack the imagination to picture how someone feels, when he flies his bomber over a town and pulls the trigger. Or how it feels if you are about to fly a plane into a building.

But I believe that I perfectly know, why they do it. It's because of the pain people inflict onto others in a neverending circle that goes on and on and on and on and on.


quote:
How do we know that the people around us are not just brainless robots?

Well, sometimes it has this appearance to me. But in fact people do have brains. They just aren't trying hard enough to use it.


Proposal for a virtual art performance

Amass all the dead carcasses and of the current wars, pile them in one big heap around the siegessäule, and then bring forth some american bombers, German V2-replicas or captured planes and the people who operate them, and let them fight about who has the right to blow the assembly into bits and pieces.

This performance shall happen in your brain. I want to make clear, that I no way think of realising this idea. - OTOH, if we find a way for all the fanatics to kill themselves off without hurting innocents, the world might be a better place. Now you might say no one is innocent, but I say, I only try to destroy minds, not bodies.


Singing

Always thought, that I couldn't sing. But that was just because a system of 12 tones was pressed into my mind. And I believed that nonsense. Until three days ago. "Michael Nyman meets indian masters" showed me the way.



Jesus' most interesting teaching
Heaven is a state of mind.

(I'm eager to learn what the fanatics will make out of this quote. There is a possibility to missunderstand this completly.)


Keates
But when I am consumed by the fire,
give me pheonix' wings to fly to my desire.


What is the universe? - a practical joke from a god with a convoluted sense of humor.

I don't know if I should laugh or cry about the affairs of reality. But both acts are good ways to deal with the lust for live and the pain of it.

The final question


?

I fact, I don't know, because I forget. So I have to learn anew. Whoever this "I" is.


I'm tired now. (Yet I'm curios what you will make out of this.) But I'm sure there will be more if the world doesn't cease to exist in the next day. Which is possible, but not very probable. This fact has a meaning.


See you later
with 8-bit kisses, smalltalk

anarres
16-02-2004, 20:57
Wow. Was that all your own thoughts? I particularly like the bit about kicking Descartes ass. :D

smalltalk
16-02-2004, 22:14
My own thoughts?

Of course not. I am because other people inspired me and they gave, they desired something they didn't understand, something they couldn't master. And because of the fact, that the world exists.

Namely, my parents, Darwin, the Upanishads, Lao-Tse, Celia Green, David Brin, and all you people gathered here. Gothmog showed me the way to agnosticim. You yourself teached me about mockery.

I'm just trying to expand what those people showed me. To give what little I can give.

My own ideas/revelation are the story about the monks in the desert and about reincarnation. And about delusions of enumeration. And of course the idea of bombing the Siegessäule.

I haven't spoken about what probability has to do with words - yet.
I also haven't spoken about orgasm and breathing yet. Because it is a truth, that no-one wants to hear, because it hurts their reality and no one wants to know.

Somehow, I'm sure that I'm a girl. But then I'm a lesbian. Desiring other girls. But the painfull truth is that the females I met don't have a desire to know. All they want is to be taken and to be fucked. I'm not sure if I want to incorporate this reality into my life.

So I guess, I'll rather stay a wanker instead of invading other people.

For now. But who knows what is to come? What matters is, that everybody comes and cares.
What matters to me is if people want to talk with me.

If you are able to destroy my mindset, then you are a God.

Skyfish
17-02-2004, 08:36
Wow, pretty heavy shit smalltalk, I really like it :)
There is no God so nobody will ever destroy your mindset...if you dont let them !

Plux
17-02-2004, 09:21
Nice reading, Smalltalk [goodjob]. I used to be in such a state of mind quite a lot, but playing civ for a few thousand hours killed enough brain cells to numb it all out. So now I understand nothing, which is quite enjoyable :)

smalltalk
17-02-2004, 20:51
Yesterdays parties

I was DJ-ing last weekend, in a place that claims to be the artsy location in town. I intended to play some of my most cherished house music, but then, out of an impuls, I decided otherwise. I felt, it would be a good idea, to play music from the last forty years at a birthday party for folks way in their forties.

So I played Robert Wyatt, Gil Scott-Heron, and mongolese overtone singing. That was too much for them. So people came and sayed, "You can't do that, it's friday evening, people want to have fun." So I turned down the volume and left them standing in embarassing silence.

What they say is: "Hey, I have been fucked at my working week, now I want to go out and fuck my brains out and the pain away."

The hilarious irony of this is, that Gil Scott-Heron has lines like: "Saturday Night ain't just that special."

I played his B-movie song:

quote:
You ain't never really got to worry
You dont need to check out how you feel
just keep repeating that none of this is real
and every sensation of there's somethings wrong,
well just remember that it won't be too long
before the director cuts the scene.

Yeah
They 're really alive, They're really alive
They really ain't nothing but a movie



The unknown

I know, that there is something, which I don't know.
Therefore the unknown exists.
The unknown is out there.
The unknown is in me.
The unknown is in you.

I should be carefull about things, I don't know.
It could hurt.

So,
I shall be carefull with the world.
I shall be carefull with you.
I shall be carefull with myself.

Or maybe I should fuck myself as hard as I can
and try to do what I'm able to and give what I have

And please, don't try to come up with a name
for the unknown, like God or Allah
however tempting it seems
that's an apple I won't swallow

What has got more power and persistence?
Matter or consciousness?
Lust or asceticism?
Space or time?
Darkness or light?
Immediate demand or patience?

Maybe both sides can not exist without each other
together they form the oneness
which revolves forever
but is almost nothing

sometimes something is created by looking
if the looker is willing to invest enough energy

I am certain of the uncertainity principle

What is so un-understandably wondrous about the world
that is resembles itself
everywhere you look
you see manifestations of the one truth
like in a fractal picture

I know that
1=1
I am me
You are you
together we are all

But I don't know of all the implications
that follow out of this knowledge

So I conclude,
I am just a minor god
- Yet


Schizophrenia

Is there an understanding
without consciously knowing ?

I told something to someone
the answer was a gesture
my answer was another gesture

in the next moment I ask
"Why didn't you answer?"

so somehow I understood
but I didn't admit it to myself

Does this make me a liar to myself?
Well, not really, cause I noticed afterwards.

Honest persons try to correct the errors they made.
It's never to late - to live on.

***

Skyfish, it is not so that I wouldn't let them. I rather invite everybody to clash with me - but only without touching.

Plux, I know that unconscious state of mind very well. I had a violent argument with my father. I was stupid drunk, I don't even remember what I said. But I know it was true, what I said. Cause it enraged him so much, he tried to hurt me physically. Cause he could not stand the fact, that my mind is bigger than his. So instead of weeping he went mad.

I love to be unconscious and yet to know everything.


Anarres, thank you so much for keeping a backup of this thoughts.
My worst fear was, that my laptop could break down, while I was writing this.

But then, it was joy to do it. Still I feel it would be sort of a loss, if no one ever had the chance to read this stuff. If we ever meet in real life, I will give you 5 $ or whatever I can spare, but I'm not sure yet if I want to go through the chores of doing it via virtual paypal or whatever it is called.


proposal for more civilization attitudes

Loving
gracious
polite
neutral
angry
furious
weeping


How to make Civ an even better game

Let's invent some hardware, so that we can connect the computer with my spine. So that electrical currents can be induced into my body to cause feelings. Every time a unit is killed, pain will flow through my consciousness. Every time my people are happy, lust will flow through my body.

This would make people better players in the game of live.


Next question
Anyone here has heard of Celia Green?
If not, I will invade your reality and tell you of her.

Whether you want or not.
You can still decide, if you want to read it
- or rather try to ignore it.
Or try to understand it.

But maybe you already know.
Do you? So tell me.


Wisdom

Perfect bliss might be gained by asking questions
and getting answers

Ehecatl Atzin
22-02-2004, 06:13
But what about Nietzsche? [devil]

smalltalk
24-02-2004, 18:44
Haven't read Nietzsche.

I just always wondered, how he - with his walrus moustache - was able to eat or do some french kissing.

Ehecatl Atzin
29-02-2004, 02:39
[lol] never thought of that before... never realized the logistics that implies having monumental face hair